i dont even have to courage to face up to myself.haiz.damn it.bloody shit.why does it have to be like this??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????oh bloody.you didnt fall from the top, dont tell me you understand, no you dont.dammit.haiz zz frgt it.sorry mummy, for disappointing you..sorry daddy, you cant be proud of my anymore..sorry garrick, all ure tuitioning efforts went down the drain.sorry brain, for over-taxing you.sorry heart, for making you endure all these pains.sorry hands, for making you write from morning till pastmidnight.sorry ears, for making you endure all the mockings.sorry eyes, for making you read when they're closing.sorry, im sorry.sorry for being such a disappointment.im really sorry, sorry for making you do everything for me yet making you disappointed.sorry makes no difference.im scared.scared of everything.oh fuck..oh bloody, just leave me alone..